IT IS POSSIBLE THAT IN THIS ELECTION YEAR, ACTUAL "DOUCHE BAGS" ARE GETTING UNDESERVED BAD PRESS

I have the distinct and sublime privilege of being a right-handed english-speaking college-educated white male in a society that still allegedly rewards such undeserved head starts with an extra twenty percent on top of our wages and the knowledge that no one is going to belittle us with backhanded compliments like "Well, he's not bad... for a white guy," even if it's true or they're actually meaning to be demeaning.

Which, of course, happens all the fucking time.

But part of what being male means (and rest assured I don't exactly dwell on this) is that I don't have much occasion to see some activities and items in the course of my daily living.

For example. Feminine hygiene accessories in general, and (deep breath) douches in particular. (I know many women don't use douches or even see them neither, and there's some question about their hygienic upside and possible side-effects downside, but at least females are more in the potential target market for such things.)

Now, if you'll allow me, I'm going to stop talking about feminine hygiene products for just a moment (I know, it was just getting interesting, sorry) and talk about the Presidential election.

Theres a lot of bad PR streaming out about John Kerry these days. That he's a pompus narcissistic gold digger who does whatever's politically expedient and cares more about his image than the political process. Which is kind of rich, considering where those stories are all coming from. (Google some variations on "Sources close to the Bush campaign" or "an unconfirmed White House report indicates" and see the kind of crap they're spewing.

This bullshit about Kerry lying about his extensive and dangerous military service is especially egregious, coming from someone who lied to get out of any work he's ever had to do, right up to today, and who couldn't even complete a one-weekend-a-month tour of duty in Alabama because he was too hammered and coked up to find the base.)

So yes. John Kerry is a douche bag, but I'm voting for him anyway.

And better a douchebag than an openly corrupt, morally bankrupt fascist.

See, the little metaphor matches the big metaphor. Sort of.

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